I see you shinning ✨your love down from heaven through your pennies. I know you see me collect all those pennies too doesn’t matter face up or face down. Shiny or not. I’m the “crazy lady” stopping to pick up the discarded change.
You’re everywhere. You’re In the sun & the big, beautiful moon.
You’re definitely in the rainbows that sometimes just appear out of no where ????
You’re with me in the good times & the bad. I’m grateful my faith allows me to receive your little reminders.
I woke up this morning determined to be happy. To honor you & celebrate you the way you deserve; through laughter not tears.
That was until I chipped my front tooth…again for the 3rd time. I started to cry out of fear…I hate needles who doesn’t right?
Then I realized I was crying for more than just my chipped tooth…God had a different plan for me today.
Maybe, today won’t be the year I laugh through the day you left.
Maybe today it is ok to cry.
I miss you & it hurts Jake.
I hate seeing the pain in your momma, brother’s & sisters faces. They miss you so much Jacob. We all do.
I think God is letting me know it’s ok to miss you & to shed some tears. Even if the door he used to open these feelings was through a chipped tooth.
I’m learning it’s ok to not smile through the pain. Sometimes, you don’t have to “fake it till you make it”.
You taught me so much Jake. You’re still helping me on my journey in life.
Despite the chipped tooth, the hurricane that’s coming & all my health issues; I feel blessed to be alive.
To be relatively healthy.
To have my family & friends.
Life is good.
It’s ok to cry. It’s ok to miss you.
I want to share your story.
September 16th is the start of Suicide Awareness.
I too have had issues with mental conditions & emotional struggles. It’s important to talk about it.
It is more common than most want to admit or even realize.
I’m no longer ashamed & I am grateful for the out poring of support I have received when I decided to open up & share my story.
I want to pay it forward for you Jake & for all the countless others out there that these issues effect.
I thought I’d do some research find some foundations to share & hopefully impact someone who is or has struggled with this type of loss.
I started to get nervous. I don’t want to upset my Aunt or his sisters & brother or any other family members, it’s painful.
I know I need & want to talk about you & your story.
I want to help someone else the way you helped so many people in life.
Weary & unsure of where these thoughts would take me I googled & found this article.
I can’t say it enough Jacob Mead Bolt you are always around showing me signs.
There are a lot of photographs & articles on this website.
Afraid to read their stories I reluctantly clicked on this photo of a woman with two guys by her side.
It was the sunflowers ???? that drew me in.
It’s a story about a girl named Kristen. A girl who lost her brother to suicide.
Her story is important & so is yours Jake.
Thanks to you & the Big Man upstairs ????????for helping me sort this all out.
Thank you to Kristen for sharing your story. Your brother is proud I know it!
You’re right Kristen you took the words from my heart ❤️
” the more people we reach, the more people will get on board, and the more change we can generate. It is so important to speak out and be a voice and an advocate. You, too, can be a person that people come to when they are dealing with mental health conditions or a suicide loss. You, too, can be an advocate and help lead people to resources that are available, educate them about misconceptions, and help to cultivate the change we so desperately seek. Education is the key, so please: get on board.”
To read Kristens full story about her brother Ryan ” It’s Okay to Talk About Gilman ”
I love you Jacob
I want anyone who is reading this to know I am here for you.
I’m here to listen & help in any possible way.
Please don’t be afraid to speak up for yourself or a loved one.
There’s always someone willing to listen & to help.
I’m that person if you need me.
Private message me or Call me